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I think it's that people know how the conversation's going to go anyway.
So they start off wanting to get that point in first - just so they've said it.
Or they start off focusing on actions and once that first sentence is gone, they never get another chance to bring it back.
There's no known strategy to get the conversation back on track.
Either you're lucky and you get a person who's willing to listen, or you're unlucky. This is mandatory watching for everyone to understand as you said to have a STRATEGY to approach the am I a racist conversation.